eating oneself

Monday, August 09, 2004

im surrounded by massochists. (and some hedonists and sadists)

a secret: Although easily amused, i am quite difficult to convince. Skepticism is a built in "reflex" in my system. Quite odd really.

people are amusing. not totally interesting, but quite amusing. if i were an alien life form who was sent here to observe humans, i'd probably be crazy. why? cos humans are just plain weird.
people tend to hurt themselves quite a lot. take loving for example. people labeled "attachment" as love. some stupid asses even labeled "fucking" as love. love is ambiguous and quite disruptive. many a slumbooks ask the famous "what is love" question. no one gets the correct answer. (except the dumbass who wrote this down : "love is a four letter english word." nice going einstein.) It's a lot of fun to think about how love works. I myself am still trying to grasp the whole concept. But this blog aint about me or her, this is about people in general (i got the "GENERAL" idea from you).

Let's face it love hurts. it hurts during the time frame, after and even before. It has many cases.

1) he loves her,she has problems, no one talks, they marry-divorce, then leave the kids to die.
2)he loves her, she loves another him, he stops dead in his tracks and takes all the pain.
3)he loves her, she never loved him, he still allegedly loves her, she doesn't care.
4)he doesnt love her, she thinks he loves her, they try to compromise. she kills him.
5)he does love her, she loves him back, he lives in france, she lives in indonesia. internet. tsk tsk
6)he loved her, she screwed up, he rejects her, she becomes famous, he loves him again.
7)he loves him, she loves him, she loves her, he loves her, what are they?
8)he loves her body, she loves his muscles, they fuck, she has a baby, he denies it, she proves it, he accepts , they wed, they break up, fight over the kid, she takes the top half, he takes the legs
9)he loves her, she doesnt say a word, he's confused, she assures him a little, he's still quite hesitant, she still hasn't declared her feelings, he waits, she holds, (this one's open-ended)
10)he loves her, she loves another she, he falls for the her that she has eyes for and they eventually fuck each other in a hot tangle of three bodies. usual porn flick.

blah.


| || ?!? || materialized 10:38 PM

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and then there was me.
an ambitious kid wandering alone in this train wreck called life.
fascinated by inanimate things and dastardly gaps in time.
wondering why the possibility of finding happiness
seems as slim a chance as finding penguins in the dessert.
he laughs.
laughs in mockery. laughs in fear. laughs in anger.
but his favorite laughter is that which hides the gloom
which has evolved from being an acquaintance to an intimate friend.
such is the demise of an observer trapped inside a toppled box.
ensconced inside a niche of shadows,
he laughs aloud just to drown the deafening silence

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