go blind.

woke up to feel dead

Thursday, August 19, 2004

runningandrunningandrunningfastfaster
andfasterandfasternoworriesnoguiltnosh
amenohonorthenfallingandtumblingandfa
dingawayintonothingbutsomethinghappe
nsandhurtshurtssobadthatyoucantimagin
ehowimusthavefeltorhoworwhatiwasfeeli
ngbeforeisaidanythingnooneexpectedthis
nooneexceptmeihatethisfeelingbutidonot
hateyouoranythingitsjustthatimacowardb
utnoonereallycaresboutanythingexceptw
hattheywanttosayorfeelordobutitdoesnt
matternoweverythingendswejustendeda
littleearlierthanexpectedandiunderstand
whathadhappenedhappenedforareasonbu
treasonsarestupidandsoamiijusthatewaki
ngupfeelingdeadseeingiloveyouandfeeling
nothing

nothing.

| || ?!? || materialized 2:30 PM

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and then there was me.
an ambitious kid wandering alone in this train wreck called life.
fascinated by inanimate things and dastardly gaps in time.
wondering why the possibility of finding happiness
seems as slim a chance as finding penguins in the dessert.
he laughs.
laughs in mockery. laughs in fear. laughs in anger.
but his favorite laughter is that which hides the gloom
which has evolved from being an acquaintance to an intimate friend.
such is the demise of an observer trapped inside a toppled box.
ensconced inside a niche of shadows,
he laughs aloud just to drown the deafening silence

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