finally the standsitll breaks. Iv been expecting this to happen sooner or later. warnings have been ignored and set aside. now i realize how many bombs have been set before hand just to make the explosion grand. they dont go off in unison, rather, their fuses have been tied together to form an insidious chain of spirit crushing instances. iv been thinkin bout the possibility of being given a little sympathy and consideration but i guess they arent capable of this. i am biased against them at this moment simply because instead of my expected reaction, the opposite occurs. life really is tricky. such a simple matter awakens a lot of hate and frustration from their side. vicious realization: i wasnt even the least bit prepared to take the beating. all i could do was distract myself. but even the distractions proved to be combustible. again they managed to bring me up to shoot me down. hope seems to be as distant as everything else. and i am soaked in fuel, just waiting, still waiting, always waiting for a match or even an ember to burn me down. i just wish i could endure until the moment that they tire,until the time that they grow tired of ignoring the problem, until the moment that they decide to understand.

but until then, i'll take the punches and force a smile. im used to it anyway.

out...