go blind.

thought shackles

Monday, October 04, 2004

[read the blog below first so that u'd get the full effect of this blog]

damned ERC! this is a "hate"-blog! tangina nila! they're not supposed to be called ENGLISH RESOURCE CENTER! i was writing my blog (see blog below) when this lola suddenly came behind me and started stroking my chest! *yuck!!!!!* joke lang ha. she told me that i wasnt supposed to WRITE in the ERC because the stupid room supposedly was just a fuckin playground for the stupid CCS kids. damned. the argument was that students must not use the ERC to produce output even if it benefits their literary skills! damned shit. ironic. an English Resource Center that prohibits its users to use the RESOURCES to enhance their ENGLISH! tangina! then she asked me this in an insulting manner: "transferee ka ba?" puta! i answered: "oho, sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas ho ako galing." tapos she replied: "talk in english"... Then I walked out, cursing all the way to the E-lib.

tangina talaga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*whew* steams out.

nasaan na ba ko? oh right...i opened my cellphone and found [1 message received]. opened that one too and found a quote. a quote from leng and it said something bout playing safe. i guess its a tendency for me to play safe when it comes to relationships now because i got really hurt the last time [courtesy of my ex]. i guess im still afraid to scratch my new found sense of peace...but i do want to care for someone more than i want someone to take care of me. i want to feel important and needed again. it may sound cheesy and shit, but i do want to love and to feel loved. (tama ba grammar?) im still trying to see if i would be able to handle a new relationship at this moment...i admit that im still emotionally unstable right now. im glad that someone at least cares enough to still send messages like that. it warms the heart and rocks the living daylights out of a sleepy bum like myself. i woke up after reading that message, refreshed and rattled. log out time.

-out!

TANGINANG ERC YAN! SANA MAWALA LAHAT NG LETTERS NG SCRABBLE NILA!!!

| || ?!? || materialized 11:14 AM

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and then there was me.
an ambitious kid wandering alone in this train wreck called life.
fascinated by inanimate things and dastardly gaps in time.
wondering why the possibility of finding happiness
seems as slim a chance as finding penguins in the dessert.
he laughs.
laughs in mockery. laughs in fear. laughs in anger.
but his favorite laughter is that which hides the gloom
which has evolved from being an acquaintance to an intimate friend.
such is the demise of an observer trapped inside a toppled box.
ensconced inside a niche of shadows,
he laughs aloud just to drown the deafening silence

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