go blind.

HICT

Friday, November 26, 2004

langya talaga. angkati. makatingmakati. bwiset. sobrang makati. dumugo na't lahat makati pa rin. ilang beses nang ginustong magsara pero pilit paring tinatastas ang balat na tumatakip sa sugat. hindi makuntento sa paglipas ng kati. kelangan mong dumugo. bilang parusa sayo. kailangan mong dumugo. nakakatuwang isipin na ginagamot mo ang sarili mo. pero dahil dyan, lalo kang masasaktan. pero wala ring silbi. kailangan mong dumugo. dahil nakakatuwa. kakaibang tuwa. masokista? hindi naman. masarap lang talagang kalikutin ang naghihilom na balat. kalikutin hanggang sa mamula. mamula dahil sa dugo. at pag napunit na muli ang sugat na maghihilom na sana, papatak ang dugo. at papahiran ko ng sama ng loob. dahil alam kong sa pagtagal ay gagaling ka rin. ngunit sa ngayon, dumugo ka muna. para matapos na. para matapos na. tapusin mo na.

| || ?!? || materialized 3:38 PM

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and then there was me.
an ambitious kid wandering alone in this train wreck called life.
fascinated by inanimate things and dastardly gaps in time.
wondering why the possibility of finding happiness
seems as slim a chance as finding penguins in the dessert.
he laughs.
laughs in mockery. laughs in fear. laughs in anger.
but his favorite laughter is that which hides the gloom
which has evolved from being an acquaintance to an intimate friend.
such is the demise of an observer trapped inside a toppled box.
ensconced inside a niche of shadows,
he laughs aloud just to drown the deafening silence

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