whew! talk about masochism! damned it was so tiring working out! hehe yep, I AM WORKING OUT! shocking right? i did it cos i think im losing stamina. i get tired a lot faster now and a few days ago my body wasn't feeling normal. It shook me up and after a few phone calls and a drive i was there at the gym pumping iron. it gives a sense of accomplishment just to have signed up for a work out program but i know that im still a long way to being fit so i guess i'll just have to put a little more effort and determination in this one!

I FEEL GOOD! tanan-tanan-tanan-tan!

last night leng and i talked up to 3 in the morning. we talked about a lot of stuff. we talked about fear and pain and how it was inevitable. we talked about dreams and the future. we talked about sleeping early and waking up earlier. we talked about books and life and love and kids and growing up and parents and stuff. we talked, we laughed, we had silent moments and even a few tussles. It was the best chat ever :) i got to know a lot about her, and that is something that's very important to me. I felt comfortable and safe last night, all because of her. god, i miss that girl...last night she told me about her plans of going abroad after graduation...i cant blame her for wanting to leave this country, i mean, who wouldn't? I was struck. People always say that when you love, you shouldnt give everything you have because that person just might ruin you. I hate this statement but im qutie guilty of it. Loving is supposed to be risky, its supposed to be all about trust and honesty, and it should never be a burden. Knowing that someone you love is going to leave you soon isnt a grand feeling. I disagree with holding yourself back from loving fully but is this an exeption? an excuse? is inevitability a cue-in for destroying something good? can the probable be a cause?

good thing the mind has the capacity to somehow delay time, or at least adjust to its effects.

this is BS.

im heading home.


-out!

word for the day: "BACK HOLE" - a bulldozer/crane contraption arrived at our house earlier this morning to level the ground. I think its either called a "buck hoe", or a "back hoe", im not really sure but "BACK HOLE" is kinda unique. literally its a hole in one's back but it could be a metaphor to feeling empty after solving most problems that one carries on his back. example: uv got problems (troubles resting on your back), and then bam! you solve it, tsanan! the burden is gone, revealing a huge HOLE in your back, making you feel cold and empty because now that everything is ok, you realize that your life is so fuckin boring.

BACK HOLE.


--final out!