whew! talk about masochism! damned it was so tiring working out! hehe yep, I AM WORKING OUT! shocking right? i did it cos i think im losing stamina. i get tired a lot faster now and a few days ago my body wasn't feeling normal. It shook me up and after a few phone calls and a drive i was there at the gym pumping iron. it gives a sense of accomplishment just to have signed up for a work out program but i know that im still a long way to being fit so i guess i'll just have to put a little more effort and determination in this one!

I FEEL GOOD! tanan-tanan-tanan-tan!

last night leng and i talked up to 3 in the morning. we talked about a lot of stuff. we talked about fear and pain and how it was inevitable. we talked about dreams and the future. we talked about sleeping early and waking up earlier. we talked about books and life and love and kids and growing up and parents and stuff. we talked, we laughed, we had silent moments and even a few tussles. It was the best chat ever :) i got to know a lot about her, and that is something that's very important to me. I felt comfortable and safe last night, all because of her. god, i miss that girl...last night she told me about her plans of going abroad after graduation...i cant blame her for wanting to leave this country, i mean, who wouldn't? I was struck. People always say that when you love, you shouldnt give everything you have because that person just might ruin you. I hate this statement but im qutie guilty of it. Loving is supposed to be risky, its supposed to be all about trust and honesty, and it should never be a burden. Knowing that someone you love is going to leave you soon isnt a grand feeling. I disagree with holding yourself back from loving fully but is this an exeption? an excuse? is inevitability a cue-in for destroying something good? can the probable be a cause?

good thing the mind has the capacity to somehow delay time, or at least adjust to its effects.

this is BS.

im heading home.


-out!

word for the day: "BACK HOLE" - a bulldozer/crane contraption arrived at our house earlier this morning to level the ground. I think its either called a "buck hoe", or a "back hoe", im not really sure but "BACK HOLE" is kinda unique. literally its a hole in one's back but it could be a metaphor to feeling empty after solving most problems that one carries on his back. example: uv got problems (troubles resting on your back), and then bam! you solve it, tsanan! the burden is gone, revealing a huge HOLE in your back, making you feel cold and empty because now that everything is ok, you realize that your life is so fuckin boring.

BACK HOLE.


--final out!

whoa horseshit.

the word for today is HORSESHIT

HORSESHIT
HORSESHIT
HORSESHIT
HORSESHIT
HORSESHIT
HORSESHIT
HORSESHIT

right. say it aloud. SCREAM IT OUT AND BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HORSESHIT!!!!!!!!!

relaxing nu? anyway, this entry is just a compliance thing. sorta like saying blah. this is just something that i wrote as a "cover" entry cos i haven't finished my big essay yet. yep, i'm writing an organized "intellectual" piece kaso its not yet finished so eto munang mga word for the day ang atupagin natin. Siguro i'll finish it soon (sana sipagin ako). Nga pala, you people should start writing more now cos im reading blog entries now unlike before hehe keep posting shit people.

and dont forget to scream HORSESHIT!!!!!!! at least once today.

wah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oops wrong word.
HORSESHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-out!

-eLov <--- eLiv (or viLe, or eviL, what have you) becomes eLov (or Love) just because of a simple slip of my typing fingers. too bad the world can't change as simply as that. think about it.


-out!

-eLiv (i like it better this way)

i've got a new hobby. its called bartending. im a beginner but im willing to learn. iv successfully mixed a tequila sunrise and a desert sunrise. i'd mix a cancun sunset if i could only figure out what a cointreau is and how it is pronounced. i served a few glasses of my concoction to my ever loving family who "willingly" agreed that it was indeed quite "delicious". aint that cool? my thinkin bout mixing a few death wishes and chili shots once i get the right ingredients. im aiming my sights on hurricanes, 7 spirits, and red deaths once iv mastered the "building" skill and after iv obtained the right spirits. its so much fun. =) its like being an alchemist, trying to make gold (tasty, spunky, amazing drink) out of basic metals (cheap drinks, juice and a few expensive spirits). Im saving money to buy ingredients but it seems that finding a store that sells good booze is going to be more difficult. hai nako. and to top it off, there's about a gabagazillion recipes on the internet! oh man. anyway, persistence is the first key, the second is hard earned cash.

-out!

shit. this is a fuckin shitty night. im exagerrating. damned i feel so annoyed and betrayed (again). why can't people just SHUT UP and MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS? Stupid people should start stapling their fuckin lips. Am I fuming? damned right I am. good god! leaks are SO FUCKING IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd burn one alive if it weren't illegal! hahahaha!!! im never doing a favor for backstabbin' thick-faced wild boars ever again! mark my fuckin word!!!!! i could ruin your careers you pigs!!!!!!!!!!! may maggots feast on your eternally damned souls!!!!!!!!!!! DIE! DIE! DIE! biyatches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:-[ grrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Analogy: you wake up wasted and craving for coffee. u spend a few minutes brewing the damned thing and then u put it in ur trusted mug because coffee cups are small and stupid and they always leak. u savor the thought that ur seconds away from enjoying ur tasty brewed coffee...suddenly u discover that ur mug has a fucking crack! hot coffee seeps through the broken ceramic and spills on your shorts, burning your privates with 100 degrees celcius of fresh, aromatic, caffeine-enhanced, boiling fiery death! isnt that irritating?!!??!! thats how i fuckin feel!!!! betrayed by my fuckin trusted coffee mug!!!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*deep breath*

good thing i have leuna...congratulate me people...im taken! woohoo! its a real relief to know that somewhere out there, iv got someone i could trust. hooray for us! :D hai....missin that girl....

by the by,

Iv got a new hobby now...im starting it...Im learning to bartend! aint that cool!? :) i can see it now...eLiv thade's diabolical concoctions (eerie ung theme at definitely NO SMOKING)

MACKS thanks for droppin by. keep visiting :) its good to know that people are reading stuff like this. question though, alin sa mga sites mu ang pinaka madalas ma-update?

LIRA hey i aint got no problems (well i do have some stuff to worry about but nothing serious though) i asked for a way to contact u cos i had some question regarding suicide. I need advice for my cousin. I think he's contemplating on doing it and i dont want him dead anytime soon. please help. a few questions lang naman. send me a number or anything. thanks.

thats it for now.

so,
-out!


UPDATE: iv editted this post because i think iv been a bit too mild on some people and a bit too harsh on others. i guess the mug wasn't cracked..just spilling a bit. but all's well now. =)

whoa. iv got a few minutes to use some ink. my day started out with a drive to the train station. i think i created a new kind of sport this morning...sleep-driving. yep, i drove with the sleep jitters in my head. my brain was pulsing and i nearly hit a car. distrubing. i came home to an empty breakfast table so i went up to my room to drown myself in sleep once more. i ended up talking to leuna instead =) God, i luv that girl =) she called me cos i wasnt able to contact her due to sun cellular's ever-consistent technical difficulties. wombat. why did i say wombat? it came to me like a flash. nothing important, no clues, no guides, no reason, no sense. wombat. wombat. wombat. i think i just made wombat the word of the day. wombat wombat wombat. oh shit. gotta go. exams. WOMBAT WOMBAT WOMBAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wombat

wombat

wombat

wombat

wombat

-out. wombat.

whoa! im back! (jumps around, trying to attract attention) everything seems normal enough...(not that i'd care). Writing feels kinda new this year. I've been reading a lot of normal and not-so-ordinary books lately. I've also got a healthy dose of lovin these days =) I'm becoming normal again =) I'm also working part time and it feels good earning money. I'm studying pretty hard and am hoping to get really good grades. Things are fine in my life right now, and it SCARES the hell out of me. There's something about order that calms me down, but order, as we all know too well, is an introduction to chaos. Forgive the pessimism but as early as now, im already preparing myself to roll with the punches, leaning back and tightening the seatbelts so that when the inevitable car crash comes, I won't be flying out the windshield, but instead be bleeding internally from a collision with the ever useful car dashboard beneath a very defective airbag that I like to refer to as "SHort-lived Illusionary Tranquility System" or SHITS. Hai...but there's no mistaking that I am indeed happy with my sort-of productive life at present. I think i'll be writing frequently again since the e-lib is already open. so, good luck to me, God bless me and may the world be a better place for ME. And also, may scraps of gifts and graces (intended for me of course) fall on some needy people out there. Im obviously joking. And finally, before i forget, lets take a moment to pray for all the souls who lost their bodies because of the big earthquake under the sea (tsunami).

***moment of silence***

amen.

that day was a very tiring day for my friend, whose picture graces my page atop this blog entry.

-out