teka, parang wala ata kong visitors sa site ko lately a...maybe its too scary to look at. papalitan ko na nga ung mga picture...photos na lang ni jollibee.

like it?!

wahhahaa!

good mood ako ngaun e. calculus exam at 4pm later today. sus calculus lang pala e. chicken,

chickenjoy.

-out!

*non-sense tong tanginang entry na to. sana may mag-"comment" man lang..

damned its cold here. i cant feel my palms anymore and typing has suddenly become a chore. tangina tagal ni rem a. midterm namin mamya at 1:45 pm. damned..we dont even have notes to review. oh well i guess it aint gonna be THAT hard. im browsing for short stories right now. the world wide web doesnt have a copy of "PASILYO 8" so i guess il just have to look for a substitute. damned. i really liked that story. simple and gory. nice. still browsing...later


-out

im still a bit sad about my sister's CPA board exam demise. she deserved to pass in my opinion. why? cos she's a good person. she worked really hard and a basta she deserved to pass. i hate the idea of comforting her sadness. im not used to seeing her cry. last night we talked about it and i guess she's a bit over it now. i told her it aint that big a deal (big talking again). now the fuckin chalice is upon me. both my sister's failed their board exams, my parents passed their Civil Engineering Boards the first time they took it, and they have HUGE expectations from me. whew. talk about pressure...pero i guess it really aint a big deal. maybe we'll see the purpose of her demise. Pero tangina talaga. the world just crashed on one of the most important people in my life and all i could do was offer tissue paper.

sheesh.....

whew... *sigh*

-out...

whew. what a day. one more subject before dismissal. hai, nakakapagod. anyway, we played magic at the ERC. sinaway kami pero SUPAL cia! hahaha! i told that old fart that magic is an interactive game, tapos rem played along, kunwari binabasa namin ung text sa cards. (pero one really needs to read the card text before he/she plays it para maintindihan nya ung ginagawa) anyway, it was ok.

ha.............................................yyyyyyy............... b-o-r-e-d as hell.

i hate writing in taglish. masyadong tae ung dating. if ur better in english, then write in english, if ur better in tagalog, then write in tagalog. tama naman diba? now wait, why did i mention that...oh well. my subconcious is probably trying to take control again. hai...if it was just as easy as that.

im talking blah.

-out

normal. i hope. whew. talk about feeling neutral. my disposition this morning is somewhat "purgatorious" nice. haha today is PIO's birthday. my tooth and nail is finally working as it should. splashed white and red. wrath and fireball. hahaha i guess u dont have a clue again. magic stuff. i had a date last saturday.. =) it was really fun =) i enjoyed it a lot...problem is...i felt that old feeling of bitter loneliness afterwards...i guess it cant be avoided. it would be cowardice to sidestep the longing that comes with the affection. sometimes i just want to sit in a corner and think about my life and what i want to do with it. it's a bit silly to try and make someone happy when you know that you're not. im writing this to partly say sorry because i still think that it would be better to try and make distance...i guess im really just a coward behind the big talking/....

-out

whew. talk about bein' bored. wah! 5 minutes till logout time. damned ERC. my relationship with that place could've been a treasured one if it hadn't been for their hosed-up shit rules and literary-freedom-binding policies. a basta they are dumb and ugly! tsaka mas malamig sa E-Lib! ha! top score ako sa textwist nila dun! kala nila!?!! grrrr..........

i should really get a real life soon...

oh shoot...

whiff....

oh well.

-out!

[read the blog below first so that u'd get the full effect of this blog]

damned ERC! this is a "hate"-blog! tangina nila! they're not supposed to be called ENGLISH RESOURCE CENTER! i was writing my blog (see blog below) when this lola suddenly came behind me and started stroking my chest! *yuck!!!!!* joke lang ha. she told me that i wasnt supposed to WRITE in the ERC because the stupid room supposedly was just a fuckin playground for the stupid CCS kids. damned. the argument was that students must not use the ERC to produce output even if it benefits their literary skills! damned shit. ironic. an English Resource Center that prohibits its users to use the RESOURCES to enhance their ENGLISH! tangina! then she asked me this in an insulting manner: "transferee ka ba?" puta! i answered: "oho, sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas ho ako galing." tapos she replied: "talk in english"... Then I walked out, cursing all the way to the E-lib.

tangina talaga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*whew* steams out.

nasaan na ba ko? oh right...i opened my cellphone and found [1 message received]. opened that one too and found a quote. a quote from leng and it said something bout playing safe. i guess its a tendency for me to play safe when it comes to relationships now because i got really hurt the last time [courtesy of my ex]. i guess im still afraid to scratch my new found sense of peace...but i do want to care for someone more than i want someone to take care of me. i want to feel important and needed again. it may sound cheesy and shit, but i do want to love and to feel loved. (tama ba grammar?) im still trying to see if i would be able to handle a new relationship at this moment...i admit that im still emotionally unstable right now. im glad that someone at least cares enough to still send messages like that. it warms the heart and rocks the living daylights out of a sleepy bum like myself. i woke up after reading that message, refreshed and rattled. log out time.

-out!

TANGINANG ERC YAN! SANA MAWALA LAHAT NG LETTERS NG SCRABBLE NILA!!!

i guess i have this uncanny ability to hurt people around me without me noticing. maybe its a curse or something. disturbing. tsk tsk. wah. where to start? hmmm....wait, i'll read some things first before continuing....

[*********READING**********]

o---k---....iv got some things in mind but i dont think i can write em all down so il start by narrating my dream last night. i was in a lecture hall classroom because i have a class see, but then a videoke machine comes out from nowhere and it turns out that my class was KARAOKE! damned it was disturbing. a graded recitation was being held and the microphone was being passed from person to person! i was scared as hell! it was a nightmare! i woke up sweaty and nervous. the mic didnt get to me though. whew....
i woke up at 8am today, queasy and irritable cos my electric fan was fuckin turned off by who knows who. i hate waking up like that. should've used the aircon as always. grrr... anyway, i glanced at my phone to see a message. i opened it and was.. gotta stop. stupid ERC. shit.

-alex